The Breaker of Chains Pt. 1: The Guilt
People often talk about addicts and the struggles they face, as well as the toll addiction takes on their families. But rarely does anyone address the unique challenges faced by the addict who decides to break the cycle—the one who says, “enough is enough.”
In this series, I’ll share my personal experiences with my family and the mental struggles I’ve faced on this journey. After a conversation with a close friend, we came to a harsh realization: no one prepares you for the guilt and heartbreak that come with breaking the chains of addiction and generational curses.
My name is Sean Fayard, and I come from a family that has been plagued by addiction for as long as I can remember. My drug of choice was opiates, introduced to me by my uncle when I was just 13 years old. In 2011, I made the decision to get clean and take control of my health—and I’ve never looked back. But since then, I’ve lost countless friends and family members to overdoses.
The Guilt of Walking Away
The hardest struggle for me has been the guilt. Stepping away from your family is unimaginably hard. Loving your relatives from a distance, while watching them slowly kill themselves, is nothing short of heartbreaking. No matter what I do, I often feel like I’ve abandoned them. And when that dreaded call comes—the one telling me I’ve lost someone else—I wrestle with the regret of not spending more time with them.
Most people mourn the loss of their loved ones after they’ve passed. But when you’re in my position, you start mourning them while they’re still alive. The person you once knew and loved is no longer the same. Addiction changes their brain chemistry, taking away the motivations and values that once defined them.
You can bend over backward to help, but until they’re truly ready to change, the cycle will continue. Accepting that truth is devastating. The guilt of walking away feels unbearable at times, but staying in that cycle only drags you down with them.
How to Manage the Guilt
There’s no right or wrong way to deal with the guilt—it’s something every “breaker of chains” will face in their own way. For me, the key has been shifting my focus to my own health and the well-being of my immediate family. When you decide to break the cycle, you’re essentially replanting your family tree or trimming off the dead limbs. It’s up to you to nurture what remains and ensure it thrives.
Breaking the cycle means choosing your health and happiness while letting go of what you can’t control. It’s about building a better foundation for future generations, even if it means making difficult decisions today.
A Message to the Breakers
If you’ve chosen to break a generational curse, know this: you’re not alone, and the weight you’re carrying is heavy because it’s meaningful. You’re doing something few have the courage to do, and the guilt you feel is a reminder of the love you still have for those you’ve had to leave behind.
This is just the beginning of my story. In Part 2, I’ll dive deeper into the mental and emotional toll of breaking the cycle and how to find peace in the process.
-Coach Sean Fayard
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